I Am Not Special

This was supposed to start as a new blog on my own domain, but fuck it.

I was supposed to start writing a journal a few months ago. It was suggested to me by a smart person whom I respect and whose advice I usually take.

But, as usual, I got lazy and never started. I even remember having an idea for a first chapter. It was supposed to be a sort of "Hello Diary, my name is Idan" sort of article. But it never came to be. Instead I decided to visit this lonely place again and type about my recent state of mind.

I've been working as a phone customer service person since September. It all began when a friend of mine (who should stay in touch more often than she currently does!) asked me if I'm looking for a job. I said yes and sent her my CV. She sent them to a couple of people, one of whom was the people who interviewed my for this job. I had two other interviews that week, and you need to understand this is more than I've had in the six months prior. Also, I was accepted to two of them. I chose my current work place because it's easier to get to from my apartment and had more shifts per week.

I knew from the beginning that I wasn't going to enjoy doing it. But being unemployed for three years makes you kind of ignore such nonsense. I began a customer service course on September 4th that ended exactly one month later. I passed the practical exam on the first try and started answering calls on my own the very same day. But before I get to all of that I want to say a few more words about the course. I had a relatively good time. I was finally starting to meet new people, my confidence increased quite a bit and I found I can speak to new people without much reservations. Who knows, I might even keep a few friends after I quit here. The course itself was a piece of cake for me, it was relaxing and passed quickly.

And that's where it ended. This job is worse than I thought. It's demanding and makes me a very angry person. And not only because of the customers. It's not easy dealing with the average Israeli customer, but it's even harder dealing with the average Israeli customer service manager... They demand I do a lot more work than the minimum wages I get entitle and keep harassing us about sales.

God I hate sales. I wouldn't mind so much if I didn't think it was disrespectful to our customers. We bug them non stop by trying to sell stuff to them, while on the other hand they usually get very bad service from most other employees. The managers make it sound like sales is the most important aspect of the job, while, at least in my opinion, we should be working a lot harder on the actual service we provide. Because it is below average and quite infuriating in cases, and I sympathize with 90% of the callers. But hell, even the bonus we get for sales is meaningless compared to the bonuses we get for making more calls per hour, getting good results on surveys, etc.

So yeah. The anger this job makes me feel only hurts my confidence. I'm beginning to feel too much like someone I have been trying hard for three years not to be like. This job is horrible and I wanna quit. However, I can't, at least not until I find something else, and other jobs are scarce around here.

So all I have to do is take it on with stride, hope it gets better and ignore the anger, for now. And get used to real life.